I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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