I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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