I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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