I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
