Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
