Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
