oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
