I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my shit smells like andre
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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