people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
