The maid of honor just puked.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
