honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
