Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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