Sponge bath it is.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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