her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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