What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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