I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize