Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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