I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize