How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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