WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
