I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
