He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
