You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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