one might say we're banned from that church
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
