yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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