we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
