Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
