Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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