I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
