her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
