Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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