im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
