dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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