i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
