I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
