Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
