Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
