how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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