oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I cannot find my penis.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
