Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
