She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
