Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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