i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got inside last night via doggy door
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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