Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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