The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
