im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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