Too much gin, very little bucket
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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