she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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