I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
