...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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