my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
