No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
