I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
