I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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