So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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