I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
