Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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