Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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