fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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