Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
