God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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