I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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