And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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