wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My pussy is not your playground.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
