Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
