he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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