i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
