Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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