I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize