Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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