Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
